Japanese culture is one of honour. This means, conversely, that it is necessarily a culture of shame for those who cannot meet these standards of honour. This is not a bad thing, however, because the power of this shame can be harnessed, and channelled into compelling prime-time television. While in Australia we are fortunate to have many things, like Neighbours, funnel-web spiders and racism, one thing we do not have is compelling prime-time television....

 Dear Diary, Christ, what a fucking day! The first thing I wake up to is my personal assistant, Bertoni, telling me that I had to rush breakfast because there was a lot on today. I was like, "bitch, this is my house!" What could be so urgent anyway? It was barely 1pm! To be fair, I've been getting absolutely done up the arse in the media lately for not realising that Pope John Paul II and John Paul Jones from Led Zeppelin are in fact different...